


Icy Reception and Fiery Dismissal: Earth's Mightiest Teens' Mightiest Battle

by orphan_account



Series: The Teenvengers [1]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, The Avengers - Ambiguous Fandom
Genre: Alternate Universe - Teenagers, Bruce Banner Needs a Hug, Natasha was stuck in a fridge for most of the sixties, Secret Identity, Shut up Loki, Thor is a really hot teenager, Tony isn't, steve apparently needs two secret identities, you're like 12
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-08-23
Updated: 2014-08-26
Packaged: 2018-02-14 08:50:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 13,919
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2185443
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tony Stark is a not-so average sixteen-year-old. He's a billionaire, a genius, and, most awesomely, Ironman. The only problem is, is that SHIELD thinks that they can reject him for the Avengers Initiative and then bring him back when some alien who's obviously just going through puberty (Shut up Loki, you're like twelve) steals the Tesseract, takes control of a guy that still uses a bow and arrow, and destroys an entire SHIELD base. And why has Tony never heard of Dr. Bruce Green? And why does everyone seem to call each other different names?<br/>...<br/>Earth's Mightiest Heroes? A group of teenagers. No wonder the Security council thinks that Fury's lost his mind.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Episode 1: Icy Reception

**Author's Note:**

> A bit of an explanation. This is mainly MCU Avengers, with other things coming in later. If you aren't familiar with other superhero teams, it's alright, I'll explain
> 
> Steve and Bucky were born in 1928, making them 15 and 16 when they joined the army respectively. In order to get a certain type of medicine for Steve, Bucky had to illegally alter his birth certificate. Due to his father being in the army and Bucky being legally older than he is, he ends up drafted. Steve's mother dies in 1942, a year before they join the war. There is less time in the USO, and they go under in 1944, so that when Steve wakes up he is 16, and when Bucky falls, he is 17. There is some secret identity stuff due to them being minors as well as by choice, leading Captain America's public "alter ego" to be Captain Samuel Washington and Bucky's to be Sgt. Bartholomew James.
> 
> Tony has nearly the same story, everything just happens earlier, and he's smarter, as he is able to do the same things with his mind at sixteen as he was able to do middle-aged in the Iron Man movies. His father also dies when he is eleven, in 2007. Howard is a little younger when WWII happens, just because, but is still an adult. Stane still hires the Ten Rings to kill Tony, then takes control of the Mark 1. Pepper, however, becomes Tony's legal guardian after Stane dies, and takes over the company. Tony has already cured the Palladium poisoning. He is not a playboy, but is a geeky teenager that is not altogether successful with the ladies-yet, he claims.
> 
> Unfortunately I don't know much about the backstory of Bruce, but I have a basic layout. He is a childhood genius like Tony, becoming the top expert in Gamma Radiation at the age of sixteen as well as earning a doctorate, but an experiment of his reacted badly with a dormant mutation passed down by experiments his father performed on himself. Thus, the Hulk came into being. Bruce ran away and lived on the streets, but SHIELD never lost him. 
> 
> Natasha was born earlier but frozen like the Winter Soldier so the Red Room could get the use of her abilities for as long as possible, though her mind was never wiped. Around 2009 (age 13), she was sent to Budapest, where she met Clint, who made a different call and brought her in as an ally instead. 
> 
> Clint  
> One might argue that SHIELD would never hire a twelve year old, but they (at least in this universe) do train kids to be superheroes, so it follows that they would also train superspies. The mission where Clint met Natasha was never meant to be dangerous, but it took a bad turn. I know even less about Clint than I do Bruce (unfortunate, as I do truly like him), but he was in the circus, and he ended up being scouted by SHIELD. If you've seen Agents of SHIELD (don't read the rest of this sentence if you haven't) think of Grant Ward's induction to SHIELD minus the nazis and the living in the woods by himself for ages.
> 
> Thor merely looks younger, about 17. Loki looks 13 or 14. Jane was doing a summer internship for Dr. Selvig for her senior summer, before she heads off to the UK for University. Darcy is Jane's cousin, and is 15 but skipped a grade. She was visiting Jane the week that Thor appeared. Both of them live in New York and go to Midtown High. Went to, in Jane's case. 
> 
> I'm hoping to make this sort-of like a children's cartoon, where you don't need to "see every episode" or "read every story" in order to enjoy the larger story.

 

...STEVE...

 

Steve blinked, looking up at the blank white ceiling above him. His brain was fuzzy, and it took him a moment to process what was going on. The room smelled odd, kind of like a hospital or a large, dusty space, which was strange considering the room was pretty small. He sat up straight in the bed, white sheets slipping off of his chest and his head snapping in the direction of the door opening to his right. 

 

"Captain Washington," a voice greeted him. "It's good to see you awake."

 

Steve focused on the nurse standing at the door. She was smiling, but looked rather ill-at-ease nonetheless, and Steve could feel the hair at the back of his neck prickling. She didn't know his real name, so he was here as Captain America, not Steve. 

 

"The game, the one on the radio," he said, a sudden realization coming over him. He swung out of the bed and stood on slightly shaky legs. 

 

"Yes?" she asked politely, fixing the lampshade. 

 

"I went to it, it was in 1941," Steve glared at her and she took a step back, looking alarmed. 

 

"Where am I really?" he demanded. 

 

"I don't understand," she said. 

 

Armed men burst into the room and Steve acted on instinct. He knocked the men into each other and broke down the wall behind him. He was bracing for a long fall, but instead he burst into a warehouse, tripping in his misjudgment. There were projectors displaying the city, but the rest was blank walls and a single door, directly in front of him. He sprang through the door and ended up barefoot in a long, polished hallway filled with men and women in suits. They all turned on him the second they saw him. Alarms were blaring, and he panicked. Steve pushed his way through the crowd and went outside, sprinting down the street until he began to vaguely recognize where he was. He stopped at what he thought was Times Square, but couldn't be. It was so bright, so loud. Everything was moving, and he lost his breath. This couldn't have happened since the war. He didn't feel dead, but he thought he could remember dying, his lungs filling with water, freezing cold and like lead weights in his chest. 

 

Shiny black cars pulled up around him and a tall man with an eyepatch got out of one. Steve, despite his distress, couldn't help but think that he looked an awful lot like a pirate. 

 

"Captain Washington," he said. "We tried to break it to you gently, but a bit of time has passed."

 

"How much?" Steve asked, barely sparing him a glance as he was sucked in by all the activity around him again. 

 

"It's been 70 years, Cap."

 

Steve was silent, reality crashing around him. There was a buzzing in his ears, and he was having trouble breathing even as his vision swam before him. 

 

"You gonna be okay?" Fury asked, slightly more gentle than before. 

 

"Yeah, I just, I had stuff to do," Steve said. 

 

...

 

_The tesseract has awaken. It is on a little world, a human world. They would wield its power, but our ally knows its workings as they never will. He is ready to lead, and our force, our Chituari, will follow. A world will be his, the universe, yours. And the humans, what can they do but burn?_

 

...CLINT…

 

Clint was bored. Like, jeez, watching a little blue cube glow and spark for days on end was boring as all-get-out. His day got a bit more interesting when the Tesseract started spazzing whenever someone hit it, but come on, that just meant it was probably going to explode the world. Dangit, and here he was having a nice, apocalypse-free week. Ugh, maybe the world would decide to be on his side and whatever was on the other side of the portal would be friendly. Maybe one of Thor's buddies or something. 

 

Fury walked in and began barking words at Dr. Selvig. Clint thought the doc was pretty cool, especially seeing as the guy was personal friends with Thor, but that so wasn't the point. The doc was good at what he did, but even he couldn't stop the mega-cube-explosion-of-doom. 

 

"Agent Barton, report," Fury barked into the headset and Clint obediently slid down a rope and made his way to the Director. 

 

"I gave you this detail so you could keep a close eye on things," Fury said disapprovingly, somehow eyeing him with an eyepatch. 

"Well sir, I see better from a distance," Clint said. It was true. Being farther away gave him more of the full picture without the quality of his vision diminishing. He was pretty sure it was a mutation of some kind, but Professor Xavier had said it wasn't. 

 

"Well, have you seen anything that might set this thing off?" Fury asked, walking closer to the cube. 

Clint shrugged, "No one's come or gone, and Selvig's clean. No contacts, no IMs. If there's any tampering, it's not at this end."

 

"At this end?" Fury repeated in alarm. 

Clint's brow furrowed. "Yeah, the cube is a doorway to the other end of space, right? Doors open from both sides."

 

Then it all went to shit. Clint remembered fighting, then his mind went blissfully blank before being consumed by a single thought, "Obey him."

 

...TONY...

 

Tony was relaxed as hell. He'd finally finished college and was celebrating by flying his suit down to make his tower completely self-sustaining. Sure, it wasn't the way most sixteen-year-olds would celebrate the end of school, but Tony wasn't like most kids. He was Iron Man, and had been ever since he'd been captured in Afghanistan on the orders of the man who'd practically become his father since his dad had died three years ago. It was a secret, due to his status as a minor, but it was his secret nonetheless. 

 

Tony was pleased with the job he'd done as the tower lit up. 

 

"Well done Tony!" Pepper, his boss, said. Technically, once Obadiah had bit the dust, there was no one to run Stark Industries as Tony was a minor, but Pepper was awesome, especially considering she was also his legal guardian. Tony thought the world of her, if he was totally honest. She was pretty cool for someone so old. Even though she didn't look that old, Tony knew she was definitely not 29 like she claimed to be. 

 

Of course, Agent Coulson just had to interrupt their celebration by starting the Avengers Initiative. Tony had thought he was supposed to be out of that, but it seemed that Fury was a dirty liar. He knew he should never have trusted anyone that wore an eye patch. 

 

Plus, it turned out that Coulson's first name wasn't even Agent. Bummer. 

 

...NATASHA...

 

Natasha was too young for this shit. Well, technically too old, because she'd been alive during the Cold War and had then been put on ice for a good bit, but her mind and body were 16, thus making her too young to be tied to a chair and held at gunpoint. 

 

The idiot in front of her was rambling on about having captured the "Great Black Widow," but Natasha's mind was more focused on the numerous ways she could take out the people around her. 

 

The man's phone rang, and he answered it with a sharp "Hello?"

 

His expression soured and he turned to her. "It's for you."

 

She cradled the phone between her shoulder and cheek.

 

"Hello?"

 

"We need you to come in," came the familiar voice of Coulson. 

 

"Are you kidding?" Natasha demanded, "I'm working!"

 

"This takes precedence," Coulson said. 

 

Natasha couldn't help but protest. "I'm in the middle of an interrogation and this moron is giving me everything."

 

Said moron looking offended "I didn't give everything."

 

Natasha shot him a disbelieving look and returned to her conversation. "Look, you can't pull me out of this right now."

 

"Natasha, Barton's been compromised," Coulson said seriously. 

 

Natasha's heart stopped for a moment before roaring back to life, blood pumping wildly and thudding in her ears. "Let me put you on hold," she heard herself say.

 

Then she took the three bad guys out with a few flips of the chair she was still tied to. Natasha smirked and picked up her high heels and the phone, making sure the disruption field that was making her look like an adult was still operational.

 

"Where's Barton now?" Natasha asked.

 

We don't know," Coulson admitted. 

 

"But he's alive."

 

"We think so," Coulson said. "I'll brief you on everything when you get back. But first, we need you to talk to the big guy."

 

"Coulson, you know that Stark trusts me about as far as he can throw me."

 

"No, I've got Stark. You get the big guy."

 

Natasha's heart stopped again. 

 

...

 

Bribing the girl to locate and lure Banner was despicably easy, but Banner was not what Natasha had expected. Firstly, she hadn't been expecting him to look so...young. Sure, she knew that Banner was seventeen, but he looked more like a thirteen-year-old. He was dirt-smeared and thin, looking exactly like the street urchin he was. 

 

He wasn't easy to gain even a semblance of trust with, on edge and terrified the entire time they spoke, but he agreed to come and find the cube. He was the leading expert on gamma radiation despite his young age, and she had suspected that he wouldn't be able to resist a challenge. 

 

...

 

On the Helicarrier, Coulson was coming over with Captain America at the same time Natasha was with Banner. Natasha resisted the urge to smirk, but allowed a small, sly smile. Of course Coulson would grab Captain America. She was still wearing the age disrupter, but wondered if Captain Washington was also wearing one. She was a spy, it was best no one knew her real age, so she kept it on more often than not. In fact, she usually took it a step further and wore a cowl that covered everything but her eyes, but on the Helicarrier, there wasn't much need. Banner had accepted the age disrupter, but was making himself look even smaller by hunching over. He'd also decided to use a fake name. Natasha didn't blame him. If she could turn into a giant green ball of rage, she would want to be seen apart from that at least once. 

 

"Nice to meet you," the tall Captain said. Natasha wasn't sure what to make of him. He really did look like a superhero from the forties, especially with his grandpa style of dress. Natasha made a note to help him find a more modern style of dress if they survived the coming battle. 

 

"Likewise, it was certainly a shock when they found you in the ice," Natasha said. "Has Coulson asked you to sign his trading cards yet?"

 

"Trading Cards?" Captain Washington asked, cocking his head to one side like a puppy. 

 

"They're vintage, he's very proud," Natasha said. 

 

"So you're Captain America," Banner said. Captain Washington shrugged. 

 

"You're Dr. Bruce Green, right? Word is you can find the cube."

 

"Is that the only word on me?" Banner asked, suspiciously shaking the hand extended in his direction. 

 

"Only word I care about," Captain Washington said. 

 

Banner gave a small smile. 

 

...STEVE...

 

"Cap you're up!" Fury barked at Steve, after Dr. Green had located Loki in Stuttgart, Germany. 

 

Steve took one look at the suit and his throat went dry. He was supposed to wear that? He would look like a walking, talking, star-spangled target! Sure, he'd liked the suit he'd worn for combat back in the 40's, but that was of his own design and didn't look half as gaudy. He didn't even know they made bulletproof gear this color!

 

At least he had his shield and the suit would probably be covered in dirt before long. If he survived any coming battles, he was definitely going to get a few updates to the suit. He thought the future was supposed to be futuristic, not nostalgic.

 

...

 

Loki was a megalomaniacal, crafty SOB. He was a good fighter as well, which Steve supposed made sense considering Loki had about a thousand years of practice on him. 

 

Loud music-though what type of music Steve wasn't sure-blasted through the square Steve was in, and a metal man flew out of the sky and ordered Loki to stand down. 

 

"Ironman," Steve greeted. 

 

"Captain," the metal man returned. 

 

...TONY...

 

Tony was pumped. Woohoo! He'd just taken down Loki and was meeting Captain America! Of course the faceplate was staying up, but that wasn't so important. 

 

"I don't like it," Cap said. 

"What? Rock of Ages giving up so easily?" Tony asked in a joking tone. 

 

"I don't remember it being that easy," Cap said, brow furrowed and eyes suspicious. "This guy packs a wallop."

 

"Still, you were pretty spry, for an older fellow," Tony shrugged. "What's your thing? Pilates?"

 

"What?" Cap asked. 

 

"It's like calisthenics. You might have missed a couple things, you know, doing time as a Capsicle," Tony was particularly proud of that nickname, but Cap didn't seem as enthusiastic. 

 

"Fury didn't tell me he was calling you in," Cap said instead of whatever he probably wanted to say. 

 

"Yeah, there's a lot of things Fury doesn't tell you," Tony said. 

 

A storm suddenly hit, with lightning lighting up the whole sky. 

 

Loki shivered. 

 

"Scared of a little lightning?" Cap asked, brow creasing even more. 

 

"I'm not too fond of what comes after," Loki said. 

 

The side of the ship was blasted open by lightning and Loki was gone. 

 

Tony jumped up. 

 

"Hang on," said Captain America, "we need a plan of attack."

 

"I have a plan," Tony said with a smirk that Cap couldn't see. "Attack."

 

Tony found the attacker, a teen that looked like he loved Shakespeare a little too much, and knocked him to the ground. Thus began an epic battle. 

 

...THOR...

 

Thor glared at the gold and red man of metal in front of him. How to defeat an opponent that got energy from his lightning blasts? His options were brute force and trickery. He opted for the former with his fists while his mind searched for a way to trick the man of iron. He was right on the edge of a great plan when he was hit with a bright, red, white, and blue shield. 

 

"Everyone calm down," the man holding the shield said. "Let's talk this through. Ironman, put down your arms, sir, put down the hammer."

 

"Yeah, bad idea Spangles, he loves his hammer," the metal one-Ironman-said. 

 

Thor couldn't believe that a mortal was asking him to put down his hammer! Him, Thor, an Asgardian! Unbelievable!

 

With a mighty roar, Thor continued to attack instead, only to be met by an unstoppable force. A blast knocked down every tree within a mile, leaving only the man-Spangles, as the man of Iron had called him-standing. Thor wasn't an idiot. To fight a pair of opponents, one with a shield that turned his weapon into a weapon against him, and the other with a suit that took energy from his lightning, would be the height of folly. 

 

Loki was still there when they returned, and Thor frowned. That meant that Loki had a plan that involved him being on the Midgardian ship. 

 

This did not bode well.

 

...BRUCE...

 

Bruce watched as Loki was brought in and placed in a cage. Fury had stopped to talk to the god, who was a lot younger than Bruce had expected. He looked about thirteen or fourteen, with long dark hair and glimmering, deceitful eyes. 

 

"In case it's unclear," Director Fury said, "you try to escape, you so much as scratch that glass-" he pressed a button that opened up a huge hole under Loki's cell. Bruce swallowed hard. He knew what that cell had really been made for. 

 

"-Thirty thousand feet, straight down in a steel trap. You get how that works?" He pointed to Loki, "Ant," then he pointed to the button, "Boot."

 

Loki laughed, a cold, cruel thing that sent shivers dancing along Bruce's spine. "It's an impressive cage. Not built, I think, for me," Loki smirked, as if the cage were simply a small fence made of popsicle sticks rather than something made to hold the Hulk. Holding the Hulk was practically impossible, of course, but he had to give them credit for trying. 

 

"Built for something a lot stronger than you," Fury said, staring Loki down with just one eye. Bruce absently wondered if his glare was more intimidating with or without the eyepatch.

 

"Oh, I've heard," Loki said, looking directly into the camera. "The mindless beast, makes play to be the man. How desperate are you? You call on these lost creatures to defend you."

 

"How desperate am I?" Fury repeated in a voice that was just coated in-ha-fury. "You threaten my world with war. You steal a force you can't hope to control. You talk about peace and you kill cause it's fun. You have made me very desperate. You might not be glad that you did."

 

"Ooh. It burns you to come so close. To have the Tesseract, to have power, unlimited power. And for what? A warm light for all mankind to share, and then to be reminded what real power is." Loki was gloating, but there was something... off... about it. Something in the wording that Bruce couldn't articulate.

 

"Yeah, well, you let me know if Real Power wants a magazine or something," Fury said, stalking out of the room with a stormy expression on his face. 

 

"He really grows on you, doesn't he?" Bruce said sarcastically, leaning against a counter next to Ironman.

 

"Loki's gonna drag this out," Captain Washington decided, "So, Thor, what's his play?" Bruce was struck by how young everyone in the room looked. Thor only looked about seventeen, while the Captain and Agent Romanoff were in their twenties. He had no idea how old Ironman was, but even so, this looked more like the start of a frat party than a team of specialists. 

 

"He has an army called the Chitauri, that none of Asgard nor any world know. He means to lead them against your people. They will win him the earth in return, I suspect, for the Tesseract," Thor said, arms crossed and face pensive. 

 

"An army, from outer space," Captain Washington was shaking his head like there was water in his ears. 

 

"So he's building another portal," Bruce decided, "That's what he needs Erik Selvig for."

 

Thor perked up instantly, "Selvig?"

 

"He's an astrophysicist," Bruce said. 

 

"He's a friend," Thor replied firmly. 

 

"Loki has him under some kind of spell, along with one of ours," Agent Romanoff said. Her expression didn't change, but Bruce got the feeling she was far more distressed than she let on. 

 

"I wanna know why Loki let us take him. He's not leading an army from here," Captain Washington said, brow furrowed in thought. 

 

"I don't think we should be focusing on Loki," Bruce said honestly, "That guy's brain is a bag full of cats, you could smell crazy on him."

 

"I don't care how you speak," Thor said, affronted. Bruce was irritated by his imperial way of speaking all of a sudden. "Loki is beyond reason, but he is of Asgard, and he's my brother."

 

"He killed eighty people in two days," Agent Romanoff said. _Thank you_ , Bruce thought. 

 

"He's adopted," Thor said weakly. 

 

...TONY...

 

They were all collected around the table when Tony walked in with Coulson. Of course, he was still Ironman, but science and being awesome was his area of expertise, whether in the suit or out of it.

 

"Iridium, what did they need the Iridium for?" a person at the table asked. 

 

"It's a stabilizing agent, means the portal won't collapse on itself, like it did at SHIELD," Tony explained. "Also, it means the portal can open as wide, and stay open as long, as Loki wants."

 

Tony directed the people working to raise the monitors. Hey, if they needed him (and wasn't that supremely satisfying?) then goddammit, he was going to act like he owned the place. And people listened when he wore the suit too! They didn't just look at him like he was some dumb kid. 

 

He noticed a guy playing Galaga (which he would rather be doing right now, if he were completely honest) and couldn't help pointing it out. 

 

"That man is playing Galaga!" Tony announced. Cap looked, if possible, even more confused than he had at the Pilates quip. "Thought we wouldn't notice, but we did."

 

Tony covered an eye over his faceplate and studied the monitors. "How does Fury even see these?"

 

"He turns," Agent Hill said. 

 

Tony immediately thought of about twenty better ways to do that, but his helping quota was filled for the next three years. "Sounds exhausting," he said instead. 

 

Tony didn't like sitting and talking, so instead he paced and talked, thus keeping attention on him and his genius. "The rest of the raw materials, Agent Barton can get his hands on pretty easily. Only major component he still needs is a power source. A high energy density, something to kick start the cube."

 

"When did you become an expert in thermonuclear astrophysics?" Agent Hill asked, and Tony was positive she was masking pure, unadulterated astonishment and worshipping under her impressive poker face. 

 

"Last night. The packet, Selvig's notes, the Extraction Theory papers. Am I the only one who did the reading?"

 

They all shifted uncomfortably.  _Lazy assholes._  

 

"Does Loki need any particular kind of power source?" Cap asked. 

 

"He'd have to heat the cube to a hundred and twenty million Kelvin just to break through the Coulomb barrier," a middle-aged man said. Tony realized it was Iridium guy. 

 

"Unless, Selvig has figured out how to stabilize the quantum tunneling effect," Tony countered. 

 

"Well, if he could do that he could achieve Heavy Ion Fusion at any reactor on the planet," he pointed out. 

 

Tony grinned madly. "Finally, someone who speaks English!"

 

Cap looked a bit dazed. "Is that what just happened?"

 

Tony ignored him and turned to the smart guy, "It's good to meet you, sorry, what's-your-face?"

 

"I'm Dr. Bruce Green," he said. 

 

"Dr. Green is only here to track the cube. I was hoping you might join him," Director Eyepatch said to Tony. 

 

"Let's start with that stick of his. It may be magical, but it works an awful lot like a Hydra weapon," Cap said. Tony was slightly impressed despite himself. Seems Cap wasn't just a hunk of muscle; he had the basic observational skills of a third grader at the very least.

 

"I don't know about that, but it is powered by the cube. And I'd like to know how Loki used it to turn two of the sharpest men I know into his personal flying monkeys," Fury said angrily, which didn't seem too out of the ordinary for him. 

 

"Monkeys? I do not understand," Thor said, looking to the rest of them for assistance. 

 

"I do!" Ooh, Cap was Hermione Granger-ing harder than Tony had even seen anyone do. "I understood that reference."

 

Tony rolled his eyes.

 

"The gamma readings are definitely consistent with Selvig's reports on the Tesseract. But it's gonna take weeks to process," Green said. 

 

"If we bypass their mainframe and direct a reroute to the Homer cluster, we can clock this around six hundred teraflops," Tony said with a bright smile at the other scientist, leading him towards the labs. 

 

"All I packed was a tooth brush," Green quipped.

 

"You know, you should come by Stark Towers sometime. Top ten floors, all R and D. You'd love it, it's candy land," Tony said once they arrived at the lab, beginning to program a program to find the tesseract. 

 

"Thanks, but the last time I was in New York I kind of had some... troubles with stress," Bruce said.

 

"Well, I promise a stress free environment. No tension. No surprises," Tony said, poking Bruce with an electrical shocker. 

 

"Ow!" Bruce said. Tony was surprised. If someone had just randomly half-tased him, he would've been pissed. 

 

"Nothing?" Tony asked in disappoint. 

 

Then Captain Uptight walked in. "Hey! Are you nuts?" he demanded. 

 

Tony ignored him, focusing on Bruce. "What's his deal?"

 

Bruce didn't answer, but Cap was talking-sorry, lecturing. "Is everything a joke to you?"

 

...BRUCE...

 

"Funny things are," Ironman said sassily. While Bruce already felt the sort of fondness one might feel for an annoying younger sibling or a particularly mischievous puppy, a touch of frustration was penetrating the defenses he kept locked around his emotions

 

"Threatening the safety of everyone on this ship isn't funny," Captain Washington said. "No offense, doctor." 

 

He seemed apologetic enough, and Bruce was slightly appreciative, if also slightly annoyed at the same time. It was good that the Captain was worried about the safety of people rather than just the containment of the Hulk or property damage. Captain Washington didn't seem to have anywhere else to go other than the lab, so he was seated at a tall stool at a counter. Bruce could see the barely-masked curiosity, and remembered learning that math and science weren't heavily focused on when the Captain would have been in school. 

 

"No, it...it's alright. I wouldn't have come aboard if I couldn't handle pointy things," Bruce said, and couldn't help thinking how ironic it was that he was trying to keep the peace. 

 

"I don't even know what's happening, and I don't even care, but you, big man, you need to strut," Ironman said, miming some strutting. 

 

"And you need to focus on the problem, Ironman," Captain Washington said, again not focusing on the Hulk but the problem at hand. In fact, Bruce was pretty sure that if they weren't on a flying metal bucket and around a large amount of people, Captain Washington would be okay with the Hulk being released. Maybe in the mountains or the desert. Most people would be.

 

"You think I'm not?" Ironman demanded, bringing Bruce out of his thoughts. "Why did Fury call us and why now? Why not before? What isn't he telling us. I can't do the equation unless I have all the variables."

 

"You think Fury's hiding something?" For a moment, the antagonistic air cleared, leaving a team effort. 

 

"He's a spy. Captain, he's the spy. His secrets have secrets," Ironman pointed to Bruce. "It's bugging him too, isn't it?"

 

It was, but Bruce didn't really want to air his feelings. "Uh...I just wanna finish my work here and..."

 

"Doctor?" Captain Washington pressed. 

 

"'A warm light for all mankind to share', Loki's jab at Fury about the cube."

 

Captain Rogers nodded, "I heard it."

 

Bruce pointed to Ironman, "Well, I think that was meant for Tony Stark. Even if Barton didn't post that all over the news."

 

"The Stark Tower? That big ugly...building in New York?" Ironman somehow managed to give him a look through the faceplate and the Captain looked slightly ashamed. 

 

"It's powered by an Arc Reactor, a self sustaining energy source. That building will run itself for what, a year?"

 

"That's just the prototype," Ironman said with pride, "Kid's kind of the only name in clean energy right now."

 

"So why didn't SHIELD bring Tony Stark in on the Tesseract project? I mean, what are they doing in the energy business in the first place?" Bruce pointed out. "It's a spy agency for god's sake."

 

"I should probably look into that once my decryption program finishes breaking into all of SHIELD's secure files," Ironman said. 

 

"I'm sorry, did you say...?" Captain Washington started. 

 

"Jarvis has been running it since I hit the bridge. In a few hours we'll know every dirty secret SHIELD has ever tried to hide," Ironman said, surprisingly serious, which immediately changed when he held out a bag of blueberries to the Captain. "Blueberry?"

 

...STEVE

 

Steve took a couple, though he was kind of confused as to why someone who never removed his mask would bring a snack with him (or her, he reminded himself, never rule that out, despite how masculine the voice is). He suddenly had the bizarre mental image of Peggy in that suit speaking with that voice and wasn't sure whether to laugh or not. "Yet you're confused about why they didn't want you around?" It meant to come out in a fond sort of tone, but it was harsher than expected. 

 

"An intelligence organization that fears intelligence? Historically not awesome," Ironman shrugged. 

 

Steve said what he'd wanted to say for a while, "I think Loki's trying to wind us up. This is a man who means to start a war, and if we don't stay focused, he'll succeed. We have orders, we should follow them." Steve didn't always like following orders, but in this case, he felt it better than causing strife. There would be time for that afterward. 

 

"Following is not really my style," Ironman said. Steve suddenly felt irrationally angry. What would it take to get through to this genius idiot?

 

"And you're all about style, aren't you?" Steve challenged. Ironman stepped forward and sort-of met his eyes. 

 

"Of the people in this room, which one is; a) wearing a spangly outfit, and b) not of use?"

 

Steve smarted. It wasn't like he'd picked the uniform! It was a good tactical decision! The people shooting at America are the bad guys, simple as that. Plus he wasn't the one wearing a shiny red-and-gold suit of armor.

 

"Captain, tell me none of this smells a little funky to you?" Dr. Green begged. 

 

"Just find the cube," Steve said, slightly disgusted. He stalked out of the lab. 

 

...BRUCE...

 

"That's the guy Howard never shut up about? Wondering if they shouldn't have kept him on ice," Ironman said. 

 

Bruce was more thoughtful. "The guy's not wrong about Loki, he does have the jump on us."

 

"What he's got is an ACME dynamite kit," Ironman said, snorting derisively. "It's gonna blow up in his face, and I'm gonna be there when it does."

 

"And I'll read all about it," Bruce promised. 

 

"Uh-huh. Or you'll be suiting up like the rest of us," Ironman prodded. Bruce wanted to hit him. 

 

"I'm not a fighter, sorry."

 

"Disappointing," Ironman said. "You'd make a good science bro."

 

...THOR...

 

"As soon as Loki took the doctor we moved Jane Foster. We've got an excellent observatory in Traunsee. She was given a free trip there to get some early college credit. It's a private plane, very remote. She'll be safe."

 

Coulson was a good man, this was something Thor knew, but he hadn't expected SHIELD to take such care of Jane. 

 

"Thank you. It's no accident, Loki taking Erik Selvig. I dread what he plans for him once he's done. Erik is a good man," Thor said. Loki knew of Selvig and his connection to himself, it was the only real explanation. He shuddered to think of what might have happened had Jane been present. 

 

"He talks about you a lot," Agent Coulson said. "You changed his life. You changed everything around here."

 

"They were better as they were," Thor said morosely, looking out at the oceans of Midgard below. "We pretend on Asgard that we're more advanced, but we...we come here battling like Bilchsteim."

 

"Like what?"

 

"Bilchsteim. You know; huge, scaly, big antlers. You don't have those?" Thor imitated the antlers and the shuffling walk, looking imploringly at Coulson.

 

Coulson shook his head. "Don't think so."

 

They were lucky indeed. "They are repulsive, and they trample everything in their path." 

 

Director Fury walked in and Thor turned to him. "When I first came to earth, Loki's rage followed me here and your people paid the price. And now again. In my youth I courted war."

 

"War hasn't started yet," Director Fury said, his voice ringing with determination. "You think you can make Loki tell us where the Tesseract is?"

 

"I do not know," Thor admitted, distressed. He loved his brother, but his brother, it seemed, did not love him back, and was making bad decisions now, with Thor powerless to help him. "Loki's mind is far afield, it's not just power he craves, it's vengeance upon me. There's no pain that would pry this need from him." Thor didn't want his brother tortured, didn't want to see him suffer any more than he had to. 

 

"A lot of guys think that, until the pain stops," Director Fury responded. 

 

Thor froze. "What are you asking me to do?"

 

"I'm asking, what are you prepared to do?"

 

"Loki is a prisoner," Thor pointed out. There was no honor in torturing a prisoner, nor was it the correct thing to do. 

 

"Then why do I feel like he's the only person on this boat that wants to be here?" Director Fury asked. 

 

Thor wasn't quite sure. 

 

...NATASHA...

 

Natasha couldn't help but feel slightly nervous. Loki was known for being tricky. She would have to pull all her cunning together and focus to get this done. 

 

"There's not many people that can sneak up on me," Loki said, turning around to look at her. 

 

"But you figured I'd come," Natasha replied, her response a volley. It was a tennis match, this conversation, and she was determined to win.

 

"After. After whatever tortures Fury can concoct, you would appear as a friend, as a balm. And I would cooperate."

 

It was an idea they had considered, but had decided to go the route of trickery first, mostly because of Thor. He still loved his brother. Natasha got it. Clint was her Loki, but unlike Loki, he hadn't had a choice. It made her blood boil, this smug little Asgardian in front of her. He had chosen to do wrong. He hadn't been brainwashed or enchanted, he'd been deceitful and deliberately cruel. He was a murderer, like her, but he did not have the excuse of Soviet control and brainwashing.

 

"I wanna know what you've done to Agent Barton." She ignored the tightening in her throat at the thought of Clint and focused on Loki. 

 

"I'd say I've expanded his mind."

 

_Bullshit._  

 

"And once you've won. Once you're king of the mountain. What happens to his mind?"

 

"Is this love, Agent Romanoff?"

 

"Love is for children. I owe him a debt." He didn't know she really was a child, how could he? She did love Clint; he was her brother in arms. He was one of the only people she trusted. 

 

"Tell me."

 

_I don't owe you shit._

 

"Before I worked for SHIELD, I uh...well, I made a name for myself. I have a very specific skill set. I didn't care who I used it for, or on. I got on SHIELD's radar in a bad way. Agent Barton was sent to kill me, he made a different call." And thank god he had. Of course, it had all ended up a misunderstanding, and Clint had been there for an entirely different reason, but he could have killed her. She enjoyed doing as good of things as she could now, she was just eternally grateful that she hadn't been found when she was older. The acts she would probably have committed could have only been worse. 

 

"And what will you do if I vow to spare him?"

 

Natasha resisted the urge to snort and instead played the idiot. "Not let you out."

 

"Ah, no," Loki conceded. "But I like this. Your world in the balance, and you bargain for one man?"

 

"Regimes fall everyday. I tend not to weep over that, I'm Russian, or I was," Natasha said. It was getting harder and harder to contemplate trickery, and she wondered if that was part of Loki's power. 

 

"And what are you now?"

 

"It's really not that complicated. I've got red in my ledger, I'd like to wipe it out."

 

"Can you? Can you wipe out that much red? Drakoff's daughter?" Natasha nearly hissed at him. "Sao Paulo? The hospital file? Barton told me everything. Your ledger is dripping, it's gushing red, and you think saving a man no more virtuous than yourself will change anything? This is the basest sentimentality. This is a child at prayer. Pathetic! You lie and kill in the service of liars and killers. You pretend to be separate, to have your own code, something that makes up for the horrors. But they are a part of you, and they will never go away." Loki was angry now. Good. People made mistakes when angry, even Asgardians. Natasha just wished it wasn't at her expense. 

 

"I won't barter Barton! Not until I make him kill you. Slowly, intimately, in every way he knows you fear. And then he'll wake just long enough to see his good work, and when he screams I'll split his skull! This is my bargain, you mewling quim."

 

Natasha turned her back and pretended to cry, "You're a monster," she said in a watery tone.

 

"Oh, no. You brought the monster." She could hear the smirk, sense it, and it all became clear. 

 

She whirled around, enjoying Loki's face at the sight of her with no evidence of tears. "So, Banner? That's your play?"

 

Loki was a bad liar when so caught off guard. "What?" He looked panicked. Good. 

 

Natasha spoke into her earpiece. "Loki means to unleash the Hulk. Keep Banner in the lab, I'm on my way. Set the door locked."

 

She turned back to Loki. "Thank you, for your cooperation." She couldn't help but give a sarcastic bow to the so-called god of mischief. 

 

...Tony...

 

Nick Fury swept into the lab, startling Tony and Green. "What are you doing, Ironman?"

 

"Uh...kind of been wondering the same thing about you," Tony responded. Guilt level: zero. 

 

"You're supposed to be locating the Tesseract!" Fury said. 

 

"We are," Bruce defended. "The model's locked and we're sweeping for the signature now. When we get a hit, we'll have the location within half a mile."

 

"And you'll get your cube back, no muss, no fuss. What is Phase 2?" He smirked at the look on Patchy's face. 

 

Cap walked in and thunked a large gun down onto a table. "Phase 2 is SHIELD used the cube to make weapons," he said tightly, pissed off written in his very posture. "Sorry, the computer was moving a little slow for me," he said directly to Tony. _Ugh, rude. Tony thought vintage people were supposed to be polite._  

 

"Captain, we gathered everything related to the Tesseract. This does not mean that we're..." 

 

"I'm sorry, Nick," Tony said, showing Fury the screen full of goddamned weapons plans. "What were you lying?"

 

_If he says 'I had no idea those were there' I will literally flip a table._ Tony thought.

 

"I was wrong, Director," Cap said. "The world hasn't changed a bit.

 

_That's cold, considering he fought against fucking Hitler. Then again, the Middle East._  

 

Thor and Agent Natalie (Tony held grudges, so sue him. He could totally afford it. Also, he still didn't know her real name) walked in then, and Bruce whirled on her.

 

"Did you know about this?"

 

"You wanna think about removing yourself from this environment, doctor?" she said instead. 

 

Bruce said exactly what Tony was thinking, "Why don't you just answer the damn question?"

 

"Loki's manipulating you," she said. 

 

"And you've been doing what exactly?" Bruce responded. Tony would find out what was going on between those two later, but for now he was going to enjoy the show. Whoop! Natalie was getting creamed!

 

"You didn't come here because I bat my eyelashes at you," Nat accused. 

 

"Yes, and I'm not leaving because suddenly you get a little twitchy! I'd like to know why SHIELD is using the Tesseract to build weapons of mass destruction!" Bruce demanded. 

 

"Because of him," Fury said simply, jerking a thumb at Thor. 

Thor looked ludicrously surprised. "Me?"

 

"Last year earth had a visitor from another planet who had a grudge that leveled a small town. We learned that not only are we not alone, but we are hopelessly, hilariously, out gunned."

 

"My people want nothing but peace with your planet," Thor said. He only looked slightly irritated, but Tony figured he was pretty used to Loki's tricks. _That was a stupid thing to say when, well, his own fucking brother was a psychopathic murderer interested in removing free will from the entirety of the human race. Thor was a fuckin' liar. Why are thy slacks not aflame?_

 

 

"But you're not the only people out there, are you? And, you're not the only threat. The world's filling up with people who can't be matched, they can't be controlled," Fury insisted. Tony could poke like 2, maybe 10 holes in that argument. No biggie. 

 

"Like you controlled the cube?" Was that sarcasm from Captain Purity? Oh, how precious. Old people were so cute (though Cap's ass was much finer than any old saggy buns Tony'd ever had the displeasure to see. Public men's locker rooms? No thank you!).

 

"Your work with the Tesseract is what drew Loki to it, and his allies. It is the signal to all the realms that the earth is ready for a higher form of war." _You tell 'em man._

 

"A higher form?" Cap asked. 

 

"You forced our hand. We had to come up with something," Fury's arguments were just getting weaker. 

 

"A nuclear deterrent, cause that always calms everything right down," Tony added sarcastically. SHIELD was full of idiots, reason 1 being that they were actually called SHIELD. 

 

"Remind me again what company made that suit?"

 

"I'm sure if he still made weapons, Stark and his buddy here would be neck deep..." Cap started, but Tony didn't take shit like that. 

 

"Wait! Wait! Hold on! How is this now about me?"

 

"I'm sorry, isn't everything?"

 

_Fuck you._

 

"I thought humans were more evolved than this," Thor announced. 

 

_Yeah well I thought aliens were timelords and vulcans and ET and shit. Life is full of disappointments, you great big bag of dicks._

 

"Excuse me, did we come to your planet and blow stuff up?" Fury asked. 

 

The room descended into arguments. 

 

"You speak of control, yet you court chaos!" Thor bellowed. 

 

"It's his M.O., isn't it?" Green asked. "I mean, what are we, a team? No, no, no. We're a chemical mixture that makes chaos. We're...we're a time-bomb."

 

"You need to step away," Fury demanded. _Dickbag._  

 

"Why shouldn't the guy let off a little steam?" Tony asked. He was genuinely curious, but it seemed he'd said something that caused great offense. 

 

"Back off!" Cap barked. 

 

"Oh, I'm starting to want you to make me," Tony said. 

 

"Yeah, big man in a suit of armor. Take that off what are you?"

 

"Someone with an actual alter ego and a much less stupidly patriotic name, Captain Washington. Also I'm rich, philanthropic, handsome, and great with the ladies."

 

"I know-I've known-guys with none of that worth ten of you," Cap spat. "I've seen the footage. The only thing you really fight for is yourself. You're not the guy to make the sacrifice play, to lay down on a wire and let the other guy crawl over you."

 

"I think I would just cut the wire." Tony set his jaw and glared at him. 

 

"Always a way out. You know, you may not be a threat, but you better stop pretending to be a hero."

 

"A hero, like you?" Tony snorted. "You're a laboratory experiment, Washington. Everything special about you came out of a bottle!"

 

Cap recoiled as if slapped, and then an explosion rocked the ship. 

 

"Let's go!" Cap ordered, but only Fury, Cap and Tony managed to escape the room before it exploded.

 


	2. Chapter 2: Fiery Dismissal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The final fight scenes and a bit of fluff.

**Episode 2 Fiery Dismissal**

 

**…NATASHA…**

 

Great, Natasha's favorite position: trapped under rubble with a man who might turn into a giant rage monster at any moment. Who was, actually, at this very moment trying not to turn into a giant rage monster. Just her luck.

 

"Doctor?" she said tentatively, and when Dr. Banner spared her a glance during his struggle, she forged on. "Bruce, you gotta fight it. This is just what Loki wants. We're gonna be okay. Listen to me."

 

Bruce's eyes were desperate. His age disrupter had fallen off, leaving a terrified teenager that was ever-so-slowly turning green. 

 

"We're gonna be okay, alright? I swear on my life I will get you out of this, you will walk away, and never-"

 

"Your life?" Bruce roared, and he was getting bigger, his face contorting, and Natasha couldn't tell whether it was from pain or anger. It was mostly likely both, unfortunately.

 

"Bruce!" Natasha said.  _God please no, don't let him transform. I can't fight an opponent like that. Oh please, please, please._

 

He transformed fully and began chasing her.

 

"Bruce!" Natasha screamed.

 

**…TONY…**

 

"Ironman, I'm here," Cap called out to Tony, who was flying overhead. Cap was standing by one of the damaged engines, clinging to the ship.

 

Tony swooped in close to the engine and frowned. Cap was frowning too, though he looked a bit more confused than anything else.

 

"Good, see what we got," Tony said. "I gotta get this super conduction cooling system back online before I can access the rotors and work on dislodging the debris." He turned to Cap. "I need you to get to that engine control panel and tell me which relays are in overload position."

 

Cap nodded and Tony went around to the actual engine.

 

"What's it look like in there?" Tony asked.

 

**"** It seems to run on some form of electricity," Cap said dryly.

 

_This wasn't the times for jokes goddammit! Why is it that when there's funny things happening he's serious, and when people might die he starts being funny?_

 

"Well, you're not wrong," Tony finally said.

 

**…THOR…**

 

Natasha was cornered by a fearsome green giant, and Thor sped up his run. He grabbed the beast and began to grapple with him.

 

_"_ We're not your enemies, Doctor! Try to think!" Thor yelled, but the only response was a strong punch that sent him flying across the ship.

 

**…STEVE…**

"The relays are intact. What's our next move?" Steve asked.

 

"Even if I clear the rotors, this thing won't re-engage without a jump. I'm gonna have to get in there and push," Ironman said.

 

"When that thing gets up to speed, you'll get shredded!" Steve exclaimed, guilt hitting him like a punch in an alleyway. Ironman  _would_  lay down his life for others, Steve was just an idiot.

 

**"** Then stay in the control unit and reverse polarity long enough to disengage mag…"

 

_They didn't have time for this!_

 

"Speak English!" Steve demanded.

 

"See that red lever?" Ironman said, "It'll slow the rotors down long enough for me to get out. Stand by it, wait for my word."

 

Steve immediately jumped towards the lever. No way in hell was he going to let Ironman die when there was an apology to be made.

 

**…*...**

 

Hill was fighting hard, Fury at her back, when the Hulk burst into the room, wrestling with Thor. The difference in size was so jarring that it took Maria a moment to speak.

****"Sir, the Hulk will tear this place apart!" she said.

"Get his attention," Fury ordered.

 

Maria directed the SHIELD planes to start shooting at the Hulk, but he just grabbed onto a plane and plummeted to earth. Maria was relieved to see the pilot escape the plane in a parachute.

 

The remaining engine shut down

 

"It's Barton, he took our systems. He's headed for the detention lab. Does anybody copy?" Fury yelled into his comm.

 

"This is Agent Romanoff," came Natasha's tired voice, "I copy."

 

**…THOR…**

 

Now that the green beast had fallen, Thor was with his brother. 

 

The door of the glass cage was open, Loki standing there about to step out. Thor tackled him back in, only, he went through him.

 

_No._

 

"Are you ever not going to fall for that?" Loki asked as he shut the door.

 

Thor immediately wielded Mjolnir in an attempt to break the glass. There wasn't even a crack.

 

Loki was so far gone, and it was all his fault. If he had looked for his brother after the bridge, if he had stood up to his father more, if he had not been so foolish, then none of this would have happened!

 

"The humans think us immortal," Loki said with a mock-curious tone. "Should we test that?"

 

Loki's thin, pale hand was hovering just above the button that would send Thor down into the sky, trapped in a large metal coffin, when the Son of Coul appeared with a large weapon in his hands.

 

"Move away, please," Coulson said politely.

 

Loki took one look at the weapon and started backing away carefully.

 

"You like this?" Coulson asked, his calm voice sounding strangely menacing. "We started working on the prototype after you sent The Destroyer. Even I don't know what it does. Do you wanna find out?"

 

He was about to shoot when Loki shimmered into existence behind him and stabbed him through the chest.

 

"No!" Thor screamed, but Loki hit the button and Thor fell, trapped, the image of his brother's unrepentant face all he could see for several seconds. He readied himself then, and when the cage was about to hit the ground, flung himself through the glass with all his might, coming to a rolling stop nearly a half-mile down the road.

 

**…*...**

 

"You're gonna lose," Coulson said, his chest stained with blood, the light behind his eyes growing weaker with every second.

 

"Am I?" Loki asked, amused.

 

"It's in your nature," Coulson said simply.

 

Loki was outraged. "Your heroes are scattered, your floating fortress falls from the sky. Where is my disadvantage?"

 

"You lack conviction," Coulson said. With a ghost of his usual smile, he shot Loki with his new weapon, sending him blasting back through the wall.

 

"So that's what it does," Coulson said weakly, before his eyes closed.

 

**…STEVE…**

 

"Cap, need a lever," came Ironman's voice. He sounded like he was being jostled around, but so was Steve, dammit.

 

Steve had been ambushed, and was now stuck dangling off the side of the falling Helicarrier.

 

"I need a minute here!" he yelled back.

 

"Lever! Now!" Ironman screamed.

 

Steve scrambled back onto the ship, but the soldiers started shooting at him. He lunged forward and pulled the lever.

 

**…CLINT…**

 

He was fighting. Blurs of red, black, metal bars; he was drowning in air. This was wrong, he was screaming inside, but his eyes remained blue and dead, his limbs moving against his will, his protests useless against Loki. He had to-

 

**…*…**

 

Fury's watch pinged as he got the notification that the cage had been released. He rushed through the destroyed hallways, leaping over rubble and bodies, his coat flapping behind him before he slid to a stop, Coulson's bleeding form right in front of him.

 

"I'm sorry, boss. They got rabbited," Coulson said weakly.

 

"Just stay awake," Fury demanded, his one eye revealing panic. "Eyes on me."

 

"No, I'm clockin' out here," Coulson said, his grip on Fury's hand growing slack.

 

"Not an option," Fury said fiercely.

 

"It's okay, boss. This was never gonna work if they didn't have something to…" He slumped, his hand sliding out of Fury's, his last statement unfinished.

 

**…STEVE…**

It was him and Ironman left, for the moment. Steve was pretty sure Agent Romanoff was somewhere, but that place wasn't here, so he was alone with Ironman.

 

Well, not anymore. 

 

Fury swept into the room, his face somehow even more serious than usual. It was somber even, saddened.

 

**"** These were in Phil Coulson's jacket. Guess he never did get you to sign them," he tossed a stack of bloodstained trading cards towards Steve, and Steve's heart clenched. He hadn't known Coulson well, but he had been planning on signing the cards eventually. He lifted one shakily and examined it as Fury kept speaking.

 

_"_ We're dead in the air up here. Our communications, location of the cube, Banner, Thor. I got nothing for you. Lost my one good eye. Maybe I had that coming." He paused, considering the pair of them.

 

**"** Yes, we were going to build an arsenal with the Tesseract. I never put all my chips on that number though, because I was playing something even riskier. There was an idea, Ironman knows this, called The Avengers Initiative. The idea was to bring together a group of remarkable people, see if they could become something more. See if they could work together when we needed them to, to fight the battles that we never could. Phil Coulson died still believing in that idea, in heroes."

 

Ironman got up and left. Steve remained, staring at the cards. There were no tears for him to shed, those were long gone, shed for the world he'd left behind, but he could feel cracks spreading across his heart. How much loss would this take? How much loss before freedom wasn't worth it?

 

"Well, it's an old fashioned notion," Fury said.

 

**…BRUCE…**

 

Bruce groaned and blinked open bleary eyes, the sun making him wince almost as much as his sore back. He was in the demolished structure of what had probably been a barn. He really hoped that there hadn't been any animals there when he'd crushed it.

"You fell out of the sky," said a voice. It was an older man, with a kindly face and a kindly smile, a pile of clothes in his arms.

 

"Did I hurt anybody?" 

 

The man's nose wrinkled and he shook his head. "There's nobody around here to get hurt. You did scare the hell out of some pigeons though," he laughed a bit.

 

Bruce wasn't so jovial. "Lucky." Thank god he hadn't hurt anyone. He'd caused enough hurt to last a lifetime.

 

The man wrinkled his nose again as he shrugged with one shoulder "Or just good aim. You were awake when you fell."

 

"You saw?" Bruce asked in surprise. Any sane person would be as far away as possible by now, not standing there in front of him with a smile.

 

"The whole thing, right through the ceiling. Big and green and buck ass nude. Here…" He threw Bruce a pair of jeans and a t-shirt.

 

_"_ I didn't think those would fit you until you shrunk down to a regular size fella," the man said. "Anyone ever tell you you're a bit of a shrimp?"

 

"Many times," Bruce smiled slightly. "Thank you, by the way." Bruce began pulling the clothes on.

 

"Are you an alien?"

 

Bruce stared at the man. "What?"

 

"From outer space," the man said, as if it needed clarifying, "an alien?"

 

"No," Bruce said. It probably would be easier to deal with if he was an alien, but the point was moot.

 

"Well then, son, you've got a condition."

 

Bruce snorted. There was something to be said for gross understatements.

 

**…NATASHA…**

 

Natasha stared at Clint, whose eyes were back to normal, and he stared right back at her.

 

"Clint, You're gonna be alright," Natasha said finally. "It'll be okay."

 

"You know that?" Clint asked angrily, and he tried to move, but he was still strapped down. "Is that what you know? I got...I gotta go in though. I gotta take him down!"

 

"You're too much of a concern, you have to stay put," Natasha said. Clint had to stay put. As much as she trusted him, he was a liability at the moment. 

 

"You don't understand," Clint said plainly. "Have you ever had someone take your brain and play? Pull you out and send something else in? Do you know what it's like to be unmade?"

 

Natasha narrowed her eyes at him. "You know that I do." It had taken a long time, but here she was, an underaged murderer, ready to undo some of the things she'd done.

 

"Why am I back?" Clint asked, and Natasha gave a bit of a smile at his terrible attempt at subtly changing the subject. Why he was even an agent, sometimes she just had to wonder. "How did you get him out?"

 

"Cognitive recalibration." Natasha said. At his confused look she smiled broadly. "I hit you really hard in the head."

 

"My hero," Clint said. Natasha freed him and pulled him in for a hug. Loki hadn't discovered his age disrupter, but Clint had it off now, as did Natasha. She'd swept for bugs and cameras, and this was one of the only clean rooms on the whole ship.

 

"Tasha, how many agents?" Clint asked. He sounded so much younger than sixteen, his voice full of heartbreak and guilt.

 

"Don't," Natasha said sharply before softening, "Don't do that to yourself, Clint. This is Loki. This is monsters and magic and nothing we were ever trained for."

 

"Loki, he got away?"

 

"Yeah. I don't suppose you know where?" Natasha said. As much as she hated the fact that it'd been Clint, he might know something.

 

"I didn't need to know. I didn't ask. He's gonna make his play soon though. Today." Clint said. His face was deadly serious, and Natasha half-expected him to jump on a jet and speed off alone to bury an arrow in Loki's chest.

 

"We gotta stop him," Natasha said, putting special emphasis on the 'we.'

 

"Yeah?" Clint asked skeptically, "Who's we?"

 

"I don't know. Who ever's left. You too."

 

"Well, if I put an arrow in Loki's eye socket, I'd sleep better I suppose," Clint shrugged, smiling.

 

Natasha fought a grin. "Now you sound like you."

 

Clint's smile faded. "But you don't. You're a spy, not a soldier. Now you want to wade into a war. Why? What did Loki do to  _you_?"

 

Natasha had to take a moment to compose herself. Even after three years, she still wasn't used to affection, to people putting her first in anything.

 

"He didn't, I just…" Natasha stopped.

 

"Natasha," Clint prompted. Natasha met his eyes dead on, begging him to understand.

 

"I've been compromised. I got red in my ledger, I'd like to wipe it out."

 

"You're sixteen years old," Clint said. "You aren't responsible for anything that's happened to you, to anything you've been made to do. That's the fault of the monsters out there. We're the good guys, Natasha. It's our choices that define who we are, not the things that have happened to us."

 

"Did you just paraphrase Harry Potter at me?"

 

"…Noooooo…."

 

**…TONY…**

 

"Was he married?" Cap asked from behind him. Tony turned to look at him, glad for the suit that allowed him to study the guy dead on.

 

"No. He had a uh...cellist, I think. In Portland."

 

"I'm sorry," Cap said sincerely. "He seemed like a good man."

 

At least the guy didn't try to make it about him. No matter how big of a Captain America fan Coulson had been, Cap hadn't known him at all. Tony had known a bit of him. Coulson had known his secret identify for christ's sake.

 

"He was an idiot," Tony said.

 

"Why? For believing?"

 

"For taking on Loki alone," Tony snapped.

 

Cap shrugged slightly. "He was doing his job."

 

Tony didn't like Cap being calm. He wanted to scream at someone who'd scream back. He didn't want a damn punching bag, he wanted a sparring partner.

 

"He was out of his league. He should have waited. He should have…" Tony searched for words, unable to think of what else Coulson should have done.

 

"Sometimes there isn't a way out," Cap said. Tony looked right at his eyes, which were full of grief, and he remembered that, for the man in front of him, everyone he'd ever known had died three weeks ago. 

 

Tony hated emotions, especially guilt. "Right. How did that work out for you?"

 

Cap ignored him. "Is this the first time you've lost a soldier?"

 

"We are not soldiers! I'm not marching to Fury's fife!" Tony said.  _Fucking Captain America following the goddamned rules._

 

"Neither am I," Cap said. "He's got the same blood on his hands that Loki does, but right now we gotta put that behind us and get this done. We can go after Fury later. Now Loki needs a power source, if we can put together a list…"

 

"He made it personal," Tony said. He'd been thinking it for a while. Loki didn't need to attack them, they had no idea what they were doing anyway. Loki didn't need to kill Coulson, he could've voodooed him asleep or something. No, the whole Thor thing meant that this was personal for Loki, so he was trying to even the score. Hit them at the heart, right where he'd been hit.

 

"That's not the point," Cap said.

 

"That  _is_  the point," Tony insisted. "That's Loki's point. He hit us all right where we live. Why?"

 

"To tear us apart?" Cap suggested.

 

Tony shook his head and started pacing, thinking, "He had to conquer his greed, but he knows he has to take us out to win, right? That's what he wants. He wants to beat us, he wants to be seen doing it. He wants an audience."

 

Cap was nodding along, "Right, yeah, I caught his act in Stuttgart."

 

"Absolutely, but that's just previews," Tony agreed. "This is...this is opening night. And Loki, he's a full-tail diva. He wants flowers, he wants parades, he wants a monument built to the skies with his name plastered-" Tony froze. "Son of a bitch!"

 

**…CLINT…**

 

There was a knock on the door, and he immediately pressed his age disrupter, watching Tasha do the same.

 

"Come in," Natasha said.

 

Captain America walked in, and Clint blinked. Well, he'd seen weirder.

 

"Time to go," Captain America said.

 

"Where?" Tasha asked

 

Cap waved a hand. "I'll tell you on the way. Can you fly one of those jets?"

 

"I can," Clint said. It was a challenge. He half expected Cap to totally dismiss him or something, but instead Cap looked at Natasha. Tasha nodded and Cap smiled at him.

 

"You got a suit?" Cap asked.

 

"Yeah," Clint shrugged.

 

"Then suit up," Cap nodded. Clint resisted the urge to whoop and grabbed his suit.

 

**…*…**

 

The young SHIELD pilot in charge of jet maintenance for the moment had to force himself not to cower as SHIELD's two top assassins  _and_  Captain America strode straight towards him.

 

"You guys aren't authorized to be here," he managed to stammer out.

 

"Just," Captain America rubbed his cheek exasperatedly, "Son, just don't."

…

Sir? Hill asked Fury, who was staring at Coulson's bloodied cards.

"Agent Hill?" Fury responded.

"Those cards, they were in Coulson's locker, not in his jacket."

"They needed the push," Fury said.

 

Ironman flew past the glass window, giving a one-fingered salute with both hands as he passed by. A jet followed soon after.

 

"They found it," Fury said. "Get our communications back up, whatever you have to do. I want eyes on everything."

 

"Yes sir!" Hill said almost-happily. There was hope.

 

**…TONY…**

 

Tony landed on his roof to see Dr. Selvig, with bright blue eyes Tony could see from yards away, working on a tesseract-powered device.

 

"Shut it down Dr. Selvig!" Tony yelled.  _Shit, this was not good. Pepper was going to freaking kill him!_

 

"It's too late! It can't stop now. He wants to show us something! A new universe."

 

_And Dr. Selvig's taken the plunge right into crazy bay_. "Okay," he said, and he shot right at the device. Instead of exploding like normal things did when they were shot by a highly-concentrated blast from his gauntlets, the Tesseract shot a blue bolt or laser or something up into the sky, opening up a portal to space. The last time Tony had seen something that crazy, he'd been watching Phineas and Ferb on a boring Saturday morning.

 

"The barrier is pure energy. It's unbreachable," Jarvis said.

 

_Well fuck._  

 

…

 

Tony went downstairs, taking off his armor as a "show of faith" towards Loki.

 

"Huh, Mr. Stark," Loki said as Tony walked in. "I was expecting your bodyguard."

 

_He doesn't know. Or he's lying, but then wouldn't he gloat about knowing my identity?_

 

Tony shrugged. "Ironman is busy making plans. I am the charismatic one out of the two of us."

 

"Please tell me you're going to appeal to my humanity," Loki said.  _He was enjoying this way too much. Better take him down a notch._

 

"Uh...actually, I'm planning to threaten you," Tony said casually. Loki actually looked taken aback for a second.

 

"You shouldn't have left the side of your armored friend for that," Loki said.

 

"Yeah, but he's seen a bit of mileage. Needs a rest, that guy. You've got the blue stick of destiny. Would you like a drink? Unfortunately as a minor and as a Midgardian I don't have alcohol or mead or the blood of virgins or whatever you drink, but I do have a metric fuck-ton of soda."

 

"Stalling me won't change anything," Loki said.

 

Tony rolled his eyes. "No, no, no! Threatening, remember? No drink? You sure? I'm having one," Tony poured himself a coke and sighed in satisfaction.

 

"The Chitauri are coming, nothing will change that. What have I to fear?" Loki asked, smug as, well, a really smug person. Tony didn't do metaphors or similes or idioms or whatever the hell that was.

 

"The Avengers," Tony suggested. At Loki's raised eyebrow he elaborated. "It's what they call themselves, sort of like a team. 'Earth's Mightiest Heroes' type of thing."

 

"Yes," Loki smirked. "I've met them."

 

"Yeah, I heard, it takes them a while to get any traction I'll give you that one. But, let's do a head count here. Your brother, the demigod; a super soldier, a living legend who kinda lives up to the legend; a man with breath-taking anger management issues; a couple of master assassins, Ironman, and you, big fella, you've managed to piss off every single one of them." Yes, Tony was pissed. Loki had killed Phil. Pepper would be even more pissed than he was. Loki was damn luck he only had the Avengers to deal with and not Pepper, because Pepper would rip him apart physically and verbally.

 

Loki turned away, and Tony immediately capitalized on the opportunity to put on his homing bracelets. He fully expected to fall out a window at some point. Making people fall out of stuff seemed to be Loki's MO.

 

"That was the plan," was the response.

 

Tony snorted, "Not a great plan. When they come, and they will, they'll come for you."

 

Loki sniffed. "I have an army."

 

"They've got a Hulk," Tony pointed out.

 

"I thought the beast had wandered off," Loki countered.

 

"You're missing the point, demi-tween" Tony said. "There's no throne, there is no version of this, where you come out on top. Maybe your army comes and maybe it's too much for us, but it's all on you. Because if we can't protect the Earth, you can be damned well sure we'll avenge it."

 

"How will your friends have time for me, when they're so busy fighting you?" Loki poked Tony in the chest, right on the arc reactor. 

 

It was extremely hard for Tony not to go all pretend-Loki-zombie, but he managed to resist.

 

"It should work!" Loki said, looking for all the world like a four-year-old having a tantrum.

 

"Well, performance issues. You know?" Tony smirked at him. "It happens to the best of us."

 

Loki grabbed him by the throat and flung him across the room.

 

_Holy shit OW!_

 

"Jarvis, anytime now!" Tony yelped.

 

Loki grabbed his throat again. "You will all fall before me!" Just to prove his point and be stupidly dramatic, he threw Tony out the window. _I fucking knew it._

 

Tony's suit flew down to catch him, cocooning him safely and allowing him to fly right back up.

 

The look on Loki's face was worth the reveal.

 

"And there's one other person you pissed off! His name is Phil!"

 

**…THOR…**

 

Above, a portal had opened, Chituari pouring out from the crack in the veil of sky. Thor growled and met Loki face to face at the top of Stark Tower.

 

"Loki, turn off the Tesseract or I'll destroy it!" Thor demanded. Loki was so far gone that he smiled at the sheer destruction already wrought by his borrowed army.

 

"You can't. There is no stopping it. There is only the war!" Loki lifted his arms, and framed the arriving army behind him with his hands.

 

Thor bowed his head. "So be it."

 

Loki launched himself at Thor, and the battle between bloodless brothers began, fighting over a world not their own.

 

**…CLINT…**

 

Clint whistled. "I think we're late."

 

Tasha rolled her eyes and contacted Ironman.

 

"Ironman, we're heading north east."

 

Ironman responded almost immediately, even though he was engaged with several warriors. "What, did you stop for drive through? You better have brought me a sundae. Swing by that park, I'm gonna lay 'em out for you."

 

A giant spaceshippy thing came out of the sky and Clint just had to say _something._

 

"What the actual fuck?" Clint said. "Why does this even exist? Who would make that?"

 

Clint couldn't even tell what it really was. It looked like a giant and very, very evil roly-poly. 

 

"Ironman, are you seeing this?" Cap asked the man above them

 

"I'm seeing," Ironman confirmed, "still working on believing. I'll have Jarvis find me a soft spot."

 

"We need Banner," Tasha said.

 

"Banner?" Cap asked.

 

"Why?" Clint asked.

 

"Hulk?!" Ironman exclaimed.

 

"What?" Cap said.

 

"Oh my god I think I'm running a daycare. If a teenager shows up, let me know," Tasha said.

 

**…THOR...**

 

The city was already bearing signs of damage, and Thor winced as the top of a building was sliced off by a Chituari ship.

 

"Look at this! Look around you! You think this madness will end with your rule?!" Thor bellowed, holding Loki against the edge of the roof.

 

"It's too late!" Loki said regretfully, "It's too late to stop it."

 

Thor softened. "No, we can, together."

 

Loki's face twisted in a sneer and Thor felt a white-hot pain across his stomach.

 

"Sentiment!" Loki spat.

 

**…NATASHA...**

 

"You think you can hold them off?" Captain Washington asked, gesturing to the group of Chituari coming around the corner.

 

"Captain, it would be my genuine pleasure," Clint, testing the sharpness of an arrow.

 

The Captain nodded and raced around the corner to help the law enforcement while Natasha stood side by side like usual with Clint and started "biting" the Chituari.

 

"Just like Budapest all over again," Natasha commented, thinking of the explosions all around them whenever a Chituari died.

 

"You and I remember Budapest very differently," Clint said, taking three warriors out with a single arrow.

 

Natasha rolled her eyes.

 

**…STEVE…**

 

After talking with the cops and organizing some evacuation and defense in the buildings, Steve rejoined the two agents. He'd seen Romanoff in action, but not Barton. Barton was fantastic, actually. He used arrows, but they were arrows that exploded, or lit on fire. Some of them were able to be called back to his quiver with a yell from Clint, and Steve almost missed the chance to behead a Chituari because he'd been in awe of the technology.

 

"The powers surrounding the cube are impenetrable," Thor said, landing next to them and hammering dents into an enemy.

 

Ironman chimed in through the comm sets. "Thor is right, we gotta deal with these guys."

 

"How do we do this?" Agent Romanoff wondered aloud.

 

"As a team," Steve said. He could lead them, or he could try to, and they would fight until the last. New York would not fall, not on his watch.

 

"I have unfinished business with Loki," Thor chimed in.

 

"Yeah?" Agent Barton snorted. "Get in line pal."

 

Thor opened his mouth, but Steve interrupted. "Save it. Loki's gonna keep this fight focused on us and that's what we need. Without him these things could run wild. We got Stark up top, he's gonna need us…"

 

A short teenager with dark hair and eyes rode a motorcycle up.

 

"So," he said. "This all seems pretty horrible."

 

"I've seen worse," Agent Romanoff responded.

 

The teen winced. "Sorry. I'm Dr. Bruce Banner, sorry I gave you guys a fake name and face. People just get too uncomfortable around me. It just seemed easier."

 

"Oh hell yes!" Ironman crowed. "Hulk in the house! I'm bringing the party to you guys!"

 

The giant insect-like ship flew right at them

 

Agent Romanoff shook her head and crouched defensively. "I don't see how that's a party."

 

"Dr. Banner, now might be a great time to get angry," Steve said. They could use all the help they could get.

 

"That's my secret, Captain," Dr. Banner said sadly. "I'm always angry."

 

He transformed into the Hulk, towering above them all. Steve spared a moment to simply gaze in awe. The Hulk was huge, much bigger than the small Dr. Banner, and corded muscles bulged underneath his green skin. Hulk smashed the ship to bits, but the victory didn't last much more than a second, because hundreds more of the worm-ships flew out of the portal.

 

**…TONY...**

 

"Goddammit!" Barton stamped a foot.

 

"Guys," Natalie said.

 

"Yo, call it Captain," Tony said.

 

Captain America froze for a moment, then sprang into action, his words flowing confidently. "Alright, listen up. Until we can close that portal up there, we're gonna use containment. Barton, I want you on that roof, eyes on everything. Call out patterns and strays. Stark, you got the perimeter. Anything gets more than three blocks out, you turn it back or you turn it to ash.

 

Barton turned to Tony. "Hey wanna give me a ride?"

 

"Right," Tony nodded. "Better clench up Legolas-loser, we're going shopping."

 

He dropped the guy on top of the building and left him there to shoot down Chituari and headed to his position, still listening.

 

"Thor, you've gotta try and bottleneck that portal, slow them down. You've got the lightning, light the bastards up." _Yes! Cap had just given a real swear! Finally! Yes!_

 

"You and me," Tony assumed he was speaking to Natalie, "we stay here on the ground, keep the fighting here. And Hulk, smash! 

 

Hulk roared his approval of that plan.

 

"Captain, none of this is gonna mean a damn thing if we don't get that portal closed," Natalie said. Tony could see her down on the ground, her vivid red hair tucked into a black cowl. He hadn't even noticed that her catsuit had even had a hood, but there it was, covering everything but the top half of her face. Barton had a similar hood attached to his vest, but it covered only half of his nose and he had a pair of purple-lensed glasses shading his eyes.

 

"Well maybe it's not about guns," Natalie said, as Tony tuned back into the conversation. He'd sort of lost his track while trying to not-die.

 

Then Tony was swept up in a storm of Chituari, and he got just enough of a glimpse of the pair of them to see Cap use his shield to practically shove her into the sky, where she boarded a hoverboard and shot off towards his tower.

 

**…CLINT…**

 

_Holy fuck. Hulk just threw Loki through a window!! I could sing!_

 

Clint couldn't hear what was going on from where he was, but he could see Loki's mouth moving angrily, and then Hulk picked him up and started banging him on the ground. This time, Clint could hear what was being said, as Hulk's voice tended to carry.

 

"PUNY GOD!"

 

**…NATASHA…**

 

Natasha arrived on the roof and whammed Dr. Selvig in the head with a piece of shrapnel.

 

"Doctor," she said.

 

"Loki's scepter, the energy," Selvig said weakly. "The Tesseract can't fight. You can't protect against yourself."

 

"It's not your fault," Natasha assured him. "You didn't know what you were doing.

 

Selvig's expressed twisted a bit. "Well, actually I think I did. I built in a safety to cut the power source."

 

_Fantastic!_

 

"Loki's scepter?"

 

Selvig nodded. "It might be able to close the portal. And I'm looking right at it."

 

**…TONY…**

 

"Ironman, come in," Fury's voice came through Tony's earpiece. _Damn director._ Tony was sort of busy, hello!

 

"We have a missile headed straight for the city."

 

_Well fuck._

 

"How long?" Tony asked, thinking of ideas.

 

"Three minutes at best," Fury responded.

 

_Shit._

 

...

 

"I can close it," Natalie called. "Can anybody hear me? I can shut the portal down!"

 

"Well don't just sit around, do it!" Cap yelled back.

 

"No, wait!" Tony yelled, the plan forming perfectly in his mind.

 

"Ironman," Cap protested, "these things are still coming!"

 

"I got a nuke coming in, it's gonna blow in less than a minute," Tony explained, flying straight towards the missile. "And I know just where to put it."

 

"Ironman, that's a one-way trip!" Cap protested. 

 

"Sir, we're losing altitude," Jarvis said in his ear.

 

"Yeah, I noticed," Tony mumbled, not sure who he was answering. "Jarvis, call Pepper."

 

There was no answer, so he left a message.

 

"Um, hey Pepper. Sorry about this, but if these are the last words I ever say, then I want to say them to you. You're the greatest person I've ever met, and," his throat closed up as the portal loomed above him, "just, have a good life. For me?"

 

And then he flew into the portal. The suit shut down, and Tony became aware of the blood pumping through his veins. He wouldn't even survive long enough of fit to matter that the suit had died. He would die out in space, surrounded by stars. Maybe he should've been an astrologist instead of an engineer, because then he might actually like to die in space. The back of the portal started sucking him back down. The gravitational pull of earth must be stronger than the Chituari world, or maybe the portal pulls whatever's near in so that the warriors could starting fighting more quickly. Whatever the reason, he was falling towards earth. His heart sped up. The portal was closing and he wasn't going to make it! He screwed up his eyes and when he opened them again, it was to a loud roar. The Hulk was standing above him, looking concerned.

 

"So, Tony Stark," Natalie said.

 

"Please tell me no one kissed me," Tony said. "Also, what the hell just happened?"

 

"We won!" Cap said simply. "All the Chituari died when the nuke hit whatever it hit."

 

"It's like a shitty sci-fi movie," Barton added.

Tony tried to nod, but winced instead. "Alright. Hey. Alright, good job guys. Let's just not come in tomorrow. Let's just take a day. Have you ever tried shawarma? There's a shawarma joint about two blocks from here. I don't know what it is, but I wanna try it. You guys can crash at my place too, I've got nothing better to do. As long as you're quiet though. I don't like snorers."

 

Thor shook his head. "We're not finished yet."

 

Tony pouted. "And then shawarma after."

 

**…CLINT…**

 

Clint nocked an arrow and smiled wickedly, pointing it right at Loki, who was still living in the dent in the tower floor.

 

"If it's all the same to you, I'll have that drink now," Loki said.

 

Tony rolled his eyes. "Dammit Loki, shut up."

 

"You're like, twelve," Clint added.

 

Tasha snorted and Bruce chuckled. Cap and Thor, though they obviously didn't entirely understand, gave smiles.

 

...

 

Shawarma was good. Clint liked it, or maybe it was just so good because he was starving. While he'd been being controlled, he hadn't eaten much, and then he'd fought a battle. He'd earned at least a week's worth of calories, thanks. He was mostly surprised that the restaurant had even remained open.

 

…

 

Thor and Loki said their goodbyes (well, Loki didn't talk due to the muzzle) in central park, and then the team just sort of looked at each other.

 

"I've got a confession to make," Cap said. "Actually, I've got a couple. My name isn't Samuel Washington, it's Steve Rogers. I'm also sixteen years old, if you don't count the ice. He pressed a button on the age disrupter that Clint hadn't really noticed, as it just looked like a watch, and shrank a couple inches in every direction. He looked more like a really in shape high school jock than Captain America. Clint could see why he'd gone with the age disrupter.

 

"Yo, same. Well, the age thing anyway," Clint said, hitting his own. He didn't really shrink or anything, but to an outside observer, it would appear like he had. It was the trickiest part of the disrupter, making people look older and bigger without actually doing it.

 

"Oh fine," Natasha hit her's and turned back into the Tasha he knew.

 

"Are we all about the same age?" Bruce asked in surprise. "Wow. I really didn't see that coming."

 

"Fury trusted the saving of the world to a group of teenagers," Tony said. "No wonder SHIELD's so weird, if he's in charge of it. Sleepover at my place."

 

They did indeed stay at Tony's place, although it was Stark Mansion rather than the tower, as the tower was still in pieces. Oops. It was a little dusty, but it was huge and full of bedrooms. The team crashed on the couches in the living room and didn't move until late afternoon the next day.

 

"Can someone turn off the sun?" Steve asked sleepily.

 

"That's not the sun, Captain," Fury's voice came from the doorway, and the whole present team stood up. Thor was standing just behind Fury. "That's the fluorescent lights."

 

Steve grumbled something under his breath, but Clint couldn't hear it. Apparently he was not a morning person. 

 

"So, we can't have a group of superpowered teenagers wandering around the country without supervision," Fury said. "I've enrolled you at Midtown high. We have some teenagers from out superhero program attending there already, so there's security. Coulson is acting principal."

 

The team stared at him. Clint opened his mouth, trying to point out that 1) Coulson was dead and 2) neither he nor Tony had any superpowers-though the jury was still out on Natasha-but Fury spoke before he could.

 

"Coulson survived. That's all. We'll drop off your books and class lists tomorrow. You start school August 28. Have fun."

 

"I'm a college graduate!" Tony yelled.

 

"Too bad. Both you and Bruce have to go. Thor has agreed to go too. Deal with it, motherfuckers."

 

Clint half-expected him to say, "Fury out!" but the man just turned, his cape snapping behind him, and left the mansion.

 

"So," Bruce said. "Who's hungry?"

 

The entire team raised their hands. Clint and Tony both raised both of their hands.

 

"Pancakes are on me," Tasha said, leading the way to the kitchen.

 

"Technically they're on me," Tony called, following her.

 

"Where are we going to live?" Steve wondered aloud.

 

"Here," Tony said, like it was obvious. "The teams that live together fight much better. Look at the X-men and Fantastic Four."

 

"Preach!" Clint said.

 

Bruce rolled his eyes, and Thor immediately pulled down a pot, some oats, raw fish, and a bottle of barbecue sauce and began to make some dish that Clint had no hope of pronouncing. 

 

This was going to be interesting.


End file.
